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Bastrop Daily Enterprise - Bastrop, LA
  • Kunk's Korner: Supermarket etiquette for dummies

  • Every Saturday, it's pretty much a set ritual that after work, I stop by the local supermarket and pick up my groceries for the week. Sometimes, if my schedule conflicts I'll go another night, but for the most part, I'm usuaully shopping at the same time every week.
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  • Every Saturday, it's pretty much a set ritual that after work, I stop by the local supermarket and pick up my groceries for the week. Sometimes, if my schedule conflicts I'll go another night, but for the most part, I'm usuaully shopping at the same time every week.
    And each time, I think it can't get any worse. No, I'm not talking about the price of milk or bread. I'm talking about my fellow shoppers.
    You can't go through any local supermarket anymore without wondering where people's common sense has gone. And it's usually not just one person. I couldn't tell you how many of these people I see each week. They're the people who have no respect for other shoppers  — they think they're the only one in the supermarket and they can do whatever they want.
    So I offer these slightly-satirical tips on improving everyone's stay at the local supermarket.
    -If you're a slow mover, or have stopped to get something, stay out of the middle of the aisle. There's nothing worse than trying to get out of the spices aisle, but have to do a lap around Watkins Glen because John Doe and Jane Smith won't move their carts out of the middle of the aisle. That is, if you can even get around them, which usually, you can't. There's more than enough room in the aisles for someone to be parked on each side and someone else walk between them.
    -Furthermore, if you run into someone you know and decide to stop and talk to them, stay on one side of the aisle. I can't tell you how many times I try and make it down the aisle and have to interrupt a conversation on opposite sides of the aisle, only to have them give me the stink-eye because I''m walking between them. That's not my fault.
    -If you can't control your kids, leave them at home. No one wants to hear your kid wailing from halfway across the supermarket because he can't have a box of Junior Mints. Nor do we want your kid to run around randomly, jump in front of a cart and nearly get himself killed. Been there, done that. It's not fun.
    -If you (or your kids) make a mess, go tell someone. Don't accidentally break a jar of salsa and then walk away like nothing happened. I'd rather not have my car smell like salsa for a week because I stepped in it and then got it all over my car. Accidents happen.
    -And finally, certain stores allow you to go clothes shopping at the same time as you do your grocery shopping. If you're can't keep your pants up while you're trying to get your beer, you['re most probably in the wrong department. Besides, no one came to the supermarket to see what your skivvies look like.
    Page 2 of 2 - I guess if I wanted to solve all of these problems by not dealing with them at all, I could start shopping at midnight at one of the 24-hour places. But, let me tell you, when you start doing that, it becomes a horror show. So I guess the only thing left to do for now is just grin and bear it, and hopefully change it for the future. Because all I want is to make tomorrow better than today was.
    Alix Kunkle is the News Editor of the Leesville Daily Leader. You may contact him at news@leesvilledailyleader.com.

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